news about the true nature of God

so today's subject is the character of God. yes, of course, there is a God. i've met him, and we're just going to breeze right past any of that stuff to talk about his character.

well, it only seems fair for me to discuss it, since HE only seems to be interested in one thing, which is MY character. it really bugs me. i don't think any of the things i'm really interested in interest him even remotely. like how i'm going to pay for my car insurance. like when i am going to stop being sick. like when i might be able to buy groceries again.

the truth is that of course, all these things will eventually come to pass. but here's where the character of God is all about waiting, content in knowing that money problems and health problems are really great helps in molding my character. yes, "by his stripes we are healed", but he doesn't ever promise WHEN. to God, what good is faith unless it is TESTED? sure, God answers prayer, but usually in a different way than we were expecting, and always after a whole bunch of waiting.

ever have God promise you something? my advice is to forget you heard anything at all. if God tells you something about the future, then chances are that it will not happen in the way you were thinking, and much further down the road than you ever would have imagined. by trying to "figure out" the best way to get to whatever it is that God told you about, you risk screwing it up.

look at abraham. God tells him he's going to have a son. He's 75. he should of shrugged his shoulders, and said "ok", and went on about his business, because the son God promised him wasn't born until abraham was over 100! instead, he had to make it with the maid, end up with an ishmael, and look how great that turned out.

we all make ASSUMPTIONS based on what we think God told us. and they are usually wrong. why? we all try to make God's will fit into some sort of scenario that will make US happy. but there are no more diametrically opposed forces than God's will and our own. our will has to do with our own comfort and happiness, and God doesn't care about those things. in fact, i think he hates them.

so that's why we will never be really happy (even as a christian!) unless we can embrace things like suffering, mourning and patient endurance. these are the tools God uses to bring about all the things HE finds important.

i realize that i am ignoring all the good things that God does indeed provide for us. i am not saying they don't exist. the problem i have is that my ability to enjoy pretty much anything is hampered by God's character and his neverending quest to form mine. so basically, i would like to publicly admit that i am not enjoying this process. and if i hadn't edited out all the wordy dirds, you would see this even more plainly.

that is all i have to say today.