scenes from a hospital

the father-in-law waiting patiently for news from the operation.


paul's wife (jessica) also tries out the waiting room recliner.


"mr. ten penny" waking up from the anesthesia.


three days later, gimpy displays the culprit of all the hoopla.

so this is what i did this weekend: i spent some time at providence hospital, due to a really unfortunate accident that you will now hear about.

on friday, my poor buddy paul accidentally shot himself in the leg with a nail gun while on a construction project. the 10-penny nail went completely through his femur, so it hurt pretty bad when he lowered himself down three stories of scaffolding. his boss ruined paul's work pants by ripping them open, threw him over his shoulder and put him in the truck and hauled butt to the hospital.

fortunately, the nail missed any arteries, so he didn't bleed to death in 20 minutes, which was nice. they took a bunch of x-rays, and then worked on removing the nail. paul says it hurt. actually, he told me this process was the most excruciatingly painful thing he has ever endured which, if you knew paul, would really mean something. paul is perhaps the toughest cookie i've ever known.

paul immediately underwent surgery to insert a metal rod inside of the femur, from knee to hip with pins at both ends. this will allow him to walk right away, without a cast or anything. i got to the hospital while everyone was waiting for him to get out of surgery. i have to say that the family was amazingly not-freaked-out during the whole thing. we prayed a little, but mostly just talked and joked around passing the time.

what you don't know is that his wife was in the same hospital in august to remove a ruptured appendix. or that his father-in-law was also there twice last year for surgeries after a motorcycle accident broke his pelvis, messed up his face and nearly killed him. and just two weeks ago, paul rolled his 4runner. one might think that maybe these people just get used to everything blowing up around them.

but i think it's more like seeing God take care of His own when they are going through it. seeing paul ask one of the nurses how her day was going (when obviously his day might qualify as anyone's worst ever), just exemplified the kind of Godly character that i suppose gets developed when you go through these kinds of trials with the right attitude.

kind of makes me want to stop being a such a crybaby when i don't have enough cash to afford fast food.

anyway, he was discharged sunday and i was glad to be part of the extraction team. paul is now hobbling up and down the steps at home, getting ready for the four-to-eight weeks of rehab. workman's comp is taking care of the bills.

my movie awards for 2004

so it's the oscar season, and in protest of all that is big, bloated and over-hyped, i have decided to recognize some movies that i thought were far and away more enjoyable than their blockbuster kin.

to start, i want to honor HERO as the most beautiful movie ever made. i absolutely loved it, and i think it is so weird that that it didn't get even one nomination, when the flavor-of-the-month-sometime-in-2002 (crouching tiger) was half the movie HERO is.

next, i really think HOTEL RWANDA was an important and effective movie. i wish i could make everyone watch it. yes, it is hard to watch at times, but the filmmakers are careful to keep the shock value to a minimum so they can focus on telling the story.

i know that ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is up for a few oscars. but really, it should be up for many more, including best picture and best actor. and i should say that i don't even like jim carrey either. it's just one of the most creatively ambitious movies ever.

any movie with angelina jolie in it should be automatically termed as a hollywood blockbuster. but SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW is different. first of all, the director had never done any movie before. and he animated the 6-minute short to land the deal all by himself on a mac II. the entire movie was shot on bluescreen and composed digitally for a really small budget. so it's an indie movie (kinda), and i liked the style.

and finally, hats off to SHAUN OF THE DEAD, a weird and quirky zombie comedy romance that actually works. those crazy brits!

yes, i know. i skipped napoleon (dynamite) because everyone knows about it already, so either you love it or hate it, and i can't say that it isn't overhyped anymore. i did enjoy some of the year's hollywood movies as well, like THE INCREDIBLES, THE BOURNE SUPREMACY and THE VILLAGE. but i'm all for the little guy, and i'll gladly skip most of the oscar pictures just because they all seem so pretentious and devoid of all creativity, striving with all their might to be terribly important and oscar-worthy.

God (part II)

so my last post wasn't the most cheery entry i ever wrote. (perhaps you noticed.) as some had guessed, God and i were involved in a wrestling match.

and while much of what i wrote may be true, i have come to some resolution on the matter. things don't always turn out the way that i want, but i will stop short of saying God is mean-spirited and relishes in this fact. God's plans still far outweigh any alternatives, so i have decided to stop whining about where he may be taking me and how long it takes to get there. without God i am so toast.

speaking of which, i broke down and purchased food this weekend for the first time in about a month. this may seem like a simple thing, and it is. but it was so cool last night to actually cook something that i was excited about eating. i did my laundry and made fried red potatoes with a vanilla shake, all while cooking in my boxers BECAUSE I CAN.

i think i'm about done being sick.

news about the true nature of God

so today's subject is the character of God. yes, of course, there is a God. i've met him, and we're just going to breeze right past any of that stuff to talk about his character.

well, it only seems fair for me to discuss it, since HE only seems to be interested in one thing, which is MY character. it really bugs me. i don't think any of the things i'm really interested in interest him even remotely. like how i'm going to pay for my car insurance. like when i am going to stop being sick. like when i might be able to buy groceries again.

the truth is that of course, all these things will eventually come to pass. but here's where the character of God is all about waiting, content in knowing that money problems and health problems are really great helps in molding my character. yes, "by his stripes we are healed", but he doesn't ever promise WHEN. to God, what good is faith unless it is TESTED? sure, God answers prayer, but usually in a different way than we were expecting, and always after a whole bunch of waiting.

ever have God promise you something? my advice is to forget you heard anything at all. if God tells you something about the future, then chances are that it will not happen in the way you were thinking, and much further down the road than you ever would have imagined. by trying to "figure out" the best way to get to whatever it is that God told you about, you risk screwing it up.

look at abraham. God tells him he's going to have a son. He's 75. he should of shrugged his shoulders, and said "ok", and went on about his business, because the son God promised him wasn't born until abraham was over 100! instead, he had to make it with the maid, end up with an ishmael, and look how great that turned out.

we all make ASSUMPTIONS based on what we think God told us. and they are usually wrong. why? we all try to make God's will fit into some sort of scenario that will make US happy. but there are no more diametrically opposed forces than God's will and our own. our will has to do with our own comfort and happiness, and God doesn't care about those things. in fact, i think he hates them.

so that's why we will never be really happy (even as a christian!) unless we can embrace things like suffering, mourning and patient endurance. these are the tools God uses to bring about all the things HE finds important.

i realize that i am ignoring all the good things that God does indeed provide for us. i am not saying they don't exist. the problem i have is that my ability to enjoy pretty much anything is hampered by God's character and his neverending quest to form mine. so basically, i would like to publicly admit that i am not enjoying this process. and if i hadn't edited out all the wordy dirds, you would see this even more plainly.

that is all i have to say today.

from britney and brett

this year, the valentine's season has been... well, a bit different. i was going to rant about how much single guys love the holiday because we don't have to buy nothing for nobody, but i think i will skip it. i would tell you more, but i am compelled to withhold such information on the grounds that i might incriminate myself.

however, i CAN tell you that i gave out valentines for the first time in my life. 30 foil valentines featuring britney spears, which i found some weeks ago at value village for a buck. i also sent my kiddo a handmade valentine so that she knows she is loved. other than that, i think i'm going to shut up.

so you don't really need to guess where i am at with the whole thing. no, my status hasn't changed. and i'm not bitter. or heartbroken. or gay.

but i am still sick. i sound like bob dylan, and i feel pretty much like he looks. have a happy v-day, everybody.

i almost died this weekend

ok, so i'm writing this on friday, knowing that i will not be able to post it until monday probably, assuming i am well enough to work by then. i have been sick at home all day, although i usually don't work on fridays anyway due to my part-time status. but nobody will probably know the difference, because 1) i can post retroactively, and 2) the number of people reading my old posts can be counted on one hand.

but i am bored at home and i feel the need to write about it, so write i shall. besides, talking hurts my throat.

so here's the whole sick story. i figure i contracted said sickness tuesday from the husky-voiced lindsay who, as winner of the late-night imitation nerf hoop madness detailed in the previous post, had her germy hands all over the communal nerf ball more than enough times to ensure transmission. so when i was done shooting some real hoops with my roommate joel on wednesday night, i was surprisingly exhausted. "i feel OLD," were the words i used.

and the truth is that i AM old, but i hardly ever feel it. so i was kind of relieved on thursday when i started feeling worse and realized that i was only sick, and not actually turning old. i think old kind of feels like sick, but in a more prolonged way.

i worked through thursday without a whimper. but when i got home, my true nature took over. i am the biggest achy breaky whiny baby in history when i am sick. i moan and wail and complain whether there's anyone around to hear me or not. and since i wasn't feeling nearly pathetic enough, i busted out some chick flick dvds that lindsay borrowed me. (like it wasn't enough to just infect me.) so here i am, writhing in pain and snuggled up on the couch with my blanket and all four of my pillows, crying at all the appropriate moments because i feel so alone, in a sickly and unattractive way, and even though i'd like to call someone, i'm trying really hard not to use my cellphone during the day. you see, i went over my minutes last month (even though i didn't use it for 9 days while i was out of state), and i am woefully poor as it is, so i'm being careful with it, and like that would help me feel any better since i can hardly talk at all anyways. so yeah, that's the physically draining and emotionally turbulent state of affairs that i have been living in today.

joel is home now and has been playing bond on the xbox while i've been venting. if i am sick long enough to become addicted like poor joel, then someone please find me and kill me.

the nerf hoop

here's ryan clanking one off the backboard during late-night imitation nerf hoop madness.

so i figured out how to post pictures now. i put in one for an earlier post, and you see my kiddo and me in it. so this will add to the appeal of what i hope to make into an actually interesting blog site.

so actually, my daughter (hereafter referred to as "monkeybutter"), was the one who blessed me with the imitation nerf hoop as a christmas present. joel and i have become addicted to it, and now our addiction has been shared with the unsuspecting hordes who have entered our tidy little flat with the intent of watching a movie. last night, we had a four-man and one-woman game of "frog". (it's like "horse" but spells better things.) it's still hard to believe, but lindsay (the token female) was victorious, sinking the final shot at around 2am.

and now we are out of dishwasher detergent.

where i learned all about minimalism

i just want everyone to know that the new u2 album is awesome. i've been ingesting for the last few days, and it's some good stuff.

i got into u2 way back in the day, before they were the super popular "epitome of the 80's", all over everything with "the joshua tree". they kind of relished being more obscure and alternative for awhile, until "beautiful day" hit it big in 2001. now they are back again, with their own ipod, commercials galore and more hits.

but i feel compelled to say that these guys have written some of the best music around for 25 years now. if anyone ever bothered to listen to the stuff they put out before "the joshua tree", you would hear some young lads experimenting with minimalism, discovering the power of music and not being too pretentious about it.

and i hate to break it to all of you, but "the joshua tree" isn't even their best album. for my money, i'd pick "achtung baby".

all of their albums have one thing that everyone seems to forget about: songwriting. there are many bands with more talent, but u2 continues to succeed no matter the genre, because they know how to put together a good song. even their weakest and weirdest album ("zooropa") has some really good songs on it.

so there you go. give "atomic bomb" a listen, and you'll hear some old irish guys at the top of their game.

of earthen mirth and girth

well, i hope everyone had a great holiday. of course, groundhog day has traditionally been a very important event in our family, and usually included a major media push to impose our beliefs upon the unobservant public. this year however, was celebrated in a much less conspicuous way, as i didn't have the time to make it into anything else. these things take effort.

but there were many phone calls, emails and warm wishes from friends near and far. brown clothes were worn, brown food was consumed, and hugs were exchanged in small get togethers at people's homes. it was as if the warmth we gained by gathering together was more important than celebrating the day itself.

and it was! this is like the coldest anchorage winter i've ever seen, but it was good to know that without any real promotion on my part, people still remembered. remember the groundhog. that's what it's all about folks.